Monthly Archives: August 2007

In the muck


It has been a long time since I have written or posted anything. I have been in a funk. It has been a long, hot summer here in Albania. And I have been feeling lethargic and melancholy. It has really been a year of amazing change. We are coming up on the 6 month anniversary of Gotcha Day for Jadyn on August 5th (also our 12th Anniversary!) She has changed so much! We are starting to see her funny side, her loving side and even her stubborn side. She makes us laugh so much! Sometimes life is a roller coaster… many ups along with the downs.

Yesterday, I watch my neighbors sweep out the water from the potholes/ruts outside their house. Mind you we have had no rain, but when they use water in their home it drains into the street and thus into the ruts along the road. After a few days, the water becomes stagnant and smells horrible. I was telling my friend Sonja today that I feel like that sometimes, that I am constantly sweeping the muck out from my potholes. But they just keep filling up! AGH! And so I go at it again, over and over, sweeping and sweeping. Some days I feel tired and worn out from the monotony of the task. Did you know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results? Sometimes I sweep the muck out of those potholes of mine over and over and find that I am looking for a different result. But the muck is still there.

Sonja had a wise observation… that under that muck somewhere is the well-spring of life. In the desert the water is UNDER the sand. You have to dig find the water! Sometimes while you dig, you will find that the sand keeps falling into the hole from which you are digging out! But if you keep digging you will eventually find that water. And while when you find it there may only be a trickle, if you keep digging, at some point you will find that the water begins to bubble up on its own. You have reached the wellspring of LIFE! What a lesson for me today! The modern message for today….WHERE IS MY SHOVEL?