Hijacked May 5, 2008

That’s right…Jenny’s not here.  This is her husband and I’m hijacking her blog today to tell you it’s her birthday!  I’ve shared my feelings about her over at journeytoalbania.com.  Thanks!

Language notes May 2, 2008

Today I am blogging over at journeytoalbania.com.

Click here and read my thoughts about the journey of language learning.

Women of the Harvest March 28, 2008

A couple of weeks ago I was privileged to attend the Women of the Harvest Conference (womenoftheharvest.com) in Dbrovnik, Croatia. If you are like me and every time a country is mentioned outside the US you need a geography lesson, know that you are not alone. Keep in mind when you look at this map that Albania is the size of Maryland.

WOTH is an organization that provides support for North American women who are serving cross-culturally. The WOTH retreats are held in two international locations each year and take only 75 attendees. I attended with 16 other women who serve alongside me here in Albania.

I made several new friends - there were 6 gals that I did not know at all that went in our bus load. One woman, Virginia, is 78 years old, a retired school teacher. She is here living for just one year, home schooling a Korean boy in a smaller town outside of Tirana. She is really something! She was married and divorced earlier in life, no children and this is the 12th year she has lived overseas helping missionaries school their children. I did not get nearly enough time to hear all of her stories and adventures. She is not sure if she will be back again. She has some heart problems and doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone. She is an inspiration. Amazing….

The conference speaker was Mimi Wilson, author of Holy Habits. She was wonderful and I learned so much. They had some great games - we did a white elephant gift exchange with gifts they brought us from the States. Things like pie filling, cake mixes, pecans, peanut butter, Lucky Charms… etc. It was quite a fight to see who got what! I came home with Lucky Charms and instant oatmeal which made all the family happy! We also had a funny story telling time which was hilarious to hear everyone’s crazy stories about things that have happened to them in the country where they serve. One lady told a story of her daughter falling in the sewer in India because the drain cover had been stolen. UGH! That could really happen to me here! I got a pedicure, a massage and a haircut! YEAH! And I slept like a baby. It was a truly blessed time.

My retreat was sponsored by someone I did not know who paid the $600 fee for me to attend. Isn’t that amazing? I can not tell you what a GIFT it was to have this time away to meet with other women who share my heart, my dreams and my struggles cross culturally and to just be pampered! If you want to learn more about how you could sponsor a missionary for this retreat, click here.

Undo what I’ve become February 13, 2008

“To label me a hypocrite would only scratch the surface of who I’ve been known to be.” ~ Undo by Rush of Fools

Do you ever get to the end of your day and really not like who you see in the mirror? The last couple days I have been mean spirited, rude, unkind, grumpy, grouchy, picky, impatient …all with the people I love the most. What is wrong with me?! Life can be so overwhelming. I do not have the most difficult of circumstances…yes life is hard, but I am not the only one and yet sometimes I find myself living in this vacuum of complete and total self focus. My friend Krystal was here for an hour today and I am not even sure if I asked her any questions! (Please forgive me, Krystal!) All I did do was vent, rant and generally complain. And now my spirit needs a good cleansing!

This is the passage my eyes fell upon today, when asking God to speak to me:

Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you have have no money come buy and eat! Come buy wine (Note to self: NOT whine) and milk without money and without cost. Listen, Listen to me and eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Issiah 55:1-2

God, I so need your forgiveness and grace. Please fill my cup when it is empty. Undo the things I can’t undo myself.

Undo by Rush of Fools

I’ve been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You’ll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You�re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

Invisible September 15, 2007

From another blog I read this week. I hope it will bless you.

I’m invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?” I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

As parents, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

…Make Lemonade June 10, 2007

There is the old adage, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” But how much lemonade can you make in one lifetime, really? I think we are working toward finding out! We have two lemon trees in our yard. This week, I picked up at least 50 lemons that had fallen from the tree. Never mind the 100 that still remain up high where I can’t reach them AND the 200 new buds that are forming. So we decided to try our hand at making lemonade and made good use of the Fanny Farmer Cookbook again. At my house it is known as “The Idiots Guide to Cooking Everything from Scratch.” (Again, thank you, Mom!)

So we have stored up the fresh lemon juice, frozen some fresh lemon juice and made sugar syrup to keep in the fridge for the hot days. Not as easy as whipping out the Country Time powder but great fun for the boys to juice all the lemons. And Jadyn got in a few sour looks while sucking on a piece or two. Lemonade anyone?
Next week… applesauce!

Angela= Angel June 8, 2007

A little over a month ago we hired a house helper Linda (pronounced Leen-da). Linda has worked for our friend the Bowlers for several years. The Bowlers are in the States for 4 months so we have hired Linda in their absence so that we could have the extra help with Jadyn during our language lessons and do a trial run on having regualr house help. It has blessed us beyond words… all of them Albanian. Linda does not speak any English.

Linda comes three days a week and does dishes, floors, hangs laundry etc… while Jadyn sleeps and then cares for Jadyn after her morning nap. Did I say she has been wonderful??!! Jadyn absolutely adores her.

In addition to helping with housework and Jadyn, Linda is also an informal language helper. Since she does not speak any English, we have been practicing our stumbling Albanian on her. The first 15-20 minutes she is here, we (usually, Robert too!) converse on a variety of topics. This week Linda shared with me the story of her sweet daughter Angela. Angela died 7 years ago when she was hit by a car. She had let go of her mother’s hand in a brief moment of fun with her brother and was hit by an on-coming car. As she shared a few details of the story, we both wept, and I was stuck by the realization that this is how relationships are built… moments of shared sorrow and empathy. I was also overwhelmed by the second realization that I could (by the grace of God) understand most of what she said. We call it negotiating meaning. I did not understand every word, but I knew the general meaning of what she was sharing. Regretfully, all that I was able to say back was that I knew no word to tell her what was in my heart. Someday, I will. When she left that day we shared our first cheek to cheek kiss, the way friends greet one another in Albania.

The next day, Linda brought photos of her family, including Angela to share with us. She was a beautiful girl. Linda also has a son, Ergi (pronounced Air-gee) who is 7. We also got out our pictures of family and shared. It was a great moment of relationship building. Please pray that we will continue to build language so that we may share the blessing of following Jesus.

Going home March 24, 2007

It is amazing to me that I can now call Albania home. And yet that is what it is to me now… the place where I hang my hat and in so many ways my heart. We flew to the US on January 18th. That seems a lifetime ago. So MUCH has happened since then. We have a beautiful daughter that has become the delight of my life in just a few short weeks. We have really walked through some fire, getting her citizenship and the scare of not being able to go back to Albania just yet. And we have walked some real hard roads relationally, as a family. Robert and I have had moments of being at each others throats, we have both been short tempered and impatient with Austin and Tyler, and all of us have had sickness of one kind or another. And yet despite all the hardships this season has brought, there has also been so much joy. Like a roller coaster ride described by Grandma in Parenthood (a must see film)! Looking back I wonder if all of this continues to lead me closer to the ONE I love and rely on, our Savior, Jesus. Our first night with Jadyn I began singing to her the same lullaby that I sang to the boys when they were first born.

Jesus, Jesus, You are the holy and anointed one, Jesus. Your name is like honey on my lips, Your spirit’s like water to my soul. Your word is a lamp unto my feet. Jesus I love you, I love you.” He really is the one we love. What an amazing journey to have been on. I can’t wait to see what is next.

“God can do anything you know. Far more than you could ever imagine, guess, or request in your wildest dreams. He does is not by pushing us around, but by working within us. His Spirit, deeply and gently within us.”
Ephesians 3:20 The Message

New family photo March 14, 2007

Well… we are still out here. Since we are not in Albania I have not been posting about my days! But… we are leaving 2 weeks from today and we are so ready to be home. Here is our first snapshot as a whole family. It only took 3 weeks to get one! We have had Jadyn with us 5 weeks as of yesterday and it has gone by so fast. We will start updating our “Meet Jadyn” blog this week as we are finally all feeling healthy. It has been a whirlwind of getting used to each other and travel. WHEW! Thanks for all your prayers and support. Check back with me here in a couple weeks after getting HOME in Albania!

Waiting a little longer January 18, 2007

We got word yesterday that our departure for China has been delayed for another week. We now have a tentative date of February 1 to depart for China. I am filled with both sadness and relief. The prospect of leaving 5 days after arriving in the US was a little daunting. I feel like now we will have a little chance to breathe and get the boys settled at the grandparents house. BUT… we were so looking forward to being with Jadyn as she hit the age of 10 months on Jan 31. SO… just a few more days. Please pray that this set of appointments WILL be approved and that we will leave with our entire group on Feb 1 (one family is still waiting on that I-171 approval from US immigration)!