Cards anyone? February 26, 2008

Yesterday was Egli’s birthday. Since his family lives in Pogradec, we invited a few friends over for dinner and games to celebrate. We were a combination of English and Albanian speakers, with many different levels of proficieny in the two languages. For example, Jennifer just arrived a week ago from our home church in Norman to serve here at the orphanage for 6 months. The extent of her Albanian is po (yes), mire(good), and falemederit (thank you). On the other end of the spectrum, not everyone could understand Robert or I giving directions in English so a little translation was needed for the details.

We played a game that my grandparents, aunts and uncles have taught me called “Oh Heck!” (there are other versions…). Robert and I taught Egli and Gretchen a month or two ago and they have since taught others so when it came back around again, Dovi was giving directions in Albanian. You have never seen anything so funny in your whole life! I wish I had video of all of us trying to get a word in edgewise to explain the game to the newcomers, each in our native language. Imagine 7 people all trying to say something in their own language and be heard and understood by others who don’t have all the nuances of that language while also asking their friend next to them “What did he say?” trying to get a quick translation. It was comical. I think I asked the names of the suits of the card (hearts, spades, clubs and diamonds) at least a dozen times. “Kup” for heart is the only one I remember today!

But after the evening was over, we were so thankful for this handful of people (Toni, Egli, Dovi, Visi and Jennifer) that are committed to youth ministry and our church so faithfully! We are here to serve and help them find all that God has for them in their ministry. But in the process they minister to us and our family in ways that are so precious. It is so hard to put into words how our hearts are full when we have a night like this that is fun and life giving and it looks so much like our ministry in the US with a few added cultural quirks. God is good!

Egli and Dovi are laughing at me because this was the only candle I had in the house: left over from Jadyn’s first birthday!

Sweetness of life February 22, 2008

3 teeth: $3 (the Tooth Fairy has experienced inflation!)

3 new haircuts: $6

Silk dress from China: $15

My 4 sweeties: PRICELESS!

Cultural Encounters of another kind February 22, 2008

Some days I think we have just too much culture. Here are our two encounters from Wednesday of this week.

On Wednesdays, Robert usually lets me sleep in. It is the one day of the week we don’t send lunches to school with the kids (YEAH for Food to Go day!) so he can handle breakfast and the getting ready routine! So I blissfully slept until about 9:30! As soon as I was up, he headed out to talk to Zeman our landlord. Last night we overloaded the circuit upstairs. We have been running the heaters upstairs a lot at night the last few days and the circuitry is probably old and could not handle the wattage. The power went out twice while I was IN the shower and once when I was drying my hair. We kept turning more things off as we went until we discovered that the circuit was burning at the breaker. Eek! End of power for upstairs for the night. I read my book by flashlight for a few minutes and then called it a night! While he was gone (having his own cultural encounter at the coffee shop in attempt to communicate the household repairs needs), our neighbor Bona and her son Armando came over for a few minutes (the other children were in school).

They were returning my plate from Valentine’s day. The neighbor kids had come over after school and we baked Valentine’s day cookies. Culturally she can not return my plate empty (we have done this several time….it is great!) so she baked some sweet cookie like biscuits for us! I was horrified to have her here on the morning I have slept in and done NOTHING …. toys, food, dishes everywhere… what are you going to do?! Today she was telling us that her daughter Uendi (Wendi) has been asking for her to buy another baby for their family like Jadyn. Uendi complains all the time that she wants a baby! Like Jadyn… why mommy? We need a baby like Jadyn! Uendi got a new baby doll last week for her birthday that she has named Jadyn. Yesterday she threw the doll down on the couch and said “Go to sleep Jadyn!” It is very culturally odd to them that Jadyn sleeps so much in the afternoon and that all the kids go to bed so early. Anyway… we had a good visit, looking at these pictures I had taken of our last visit and with promises to give them prints of the pictures!In the meantime…. Robert has been to the coffee shop and told Samir about the problems we are having with electricity upstairs and the water tank. About 30 minutes later, Zeman comes and very animatedly describes the problem as we already know it. He repeats himself several times, trying to say the same thing several different ways

• you have used too much current,
• you can not run both heaters and the water heater,
• you only need one heater in the children’s room,
• when it is cold out you should have the children sleep in the kitchen and the baby in your bed
• it is burnt!
• Look it is black from too much current
• Look it is defective!
• I will have to buy a new one!

Remember that each of the phrases are spoken with a lot of force, animation and loudly so he knows that we have heard him. Even after we both have said “we understand!” he says, “they don’t understand” and we go through the whole ritual again. All of that to say…..it is fixed. He had to buy a new breaker and installed it today and told me all these things again when he came back.Can you say, “too much culture”?

Side note: I have gained a whole new respect for those who move to the US and attempt to learn the language. I will have a much greater level of patience with those who are struggling to acquire the language!

Spoke too soon February 18, 2008

I really spoke too soon when I said it was cold.  Today we woke up and it was 38 outside and 47 inside our bedroom!  Eeek!

47 outside, 61 inside February 16, 2008

It is 47 degrees out today (might be warmer in the sun) and only 61 in the living room.  Sheesh… I’m chilly.  Last night I could see my breath in the bathroom.  Did you know that when we first moved here someone told me that missionaries were more prone to urinary tract infections during the winters here because they “hold it.”  When your rear end sticks to the seat you’ll know why!  I have to constantly remind myself that it is warmer outside and if we would all bundle up and go for a walk we would warm ourselves up!

Who’s in control? February 15, 2008

I made a confession to our team leader yesterday. I don’t really like living here in Albania. It is hard to say the words… even harder to type them and see them in print. The confession came with tears. Von made an observation which strikes at the core of all I feel when I breathe that statement quietly in the night. It feels like a betrayal of my husband’s call to Albania. Surely God was WRONG when he told Robert to move his family to Albania. (Did you laugh… I did when I reread this later!)

I read a bit from Girl Talk today. Nicole talked about the control our “feelings” so frequently have on us!

When it comes to my fluctuating feelings (which spike at a certain time every month) I sometimes feel like [my dog] Bailey on a leash. I often follow my feelings around in circles, forgetting that I am the owner and the leash should be on my feelings instead.

I am frequently on the wrong end of the leash. Running around more like a chicken with my head cut off spurting the result of my hurt feelings on top of others as I go (good image, huh?). In my quiet time today, I really felt the Lord speak sweetly to my heart, rest in the place you are now. Be still and know that I am God. I have some hurt feelings that are hanging on from an old wound. I end up carrying it around like a security blanket. Yet God wants me to release it to him. The question is of course, I am willing? YES, YES, YES

My friend Holly wrote to me recently, “If you are not radically committed to the idea that this whole endeavor is not just about the people you are trying to reach, but the process that God is taking you through…well, it’s just enough to make you want to run away to an all inclusive spa and never come back!” I know that God has us here for a purpose. And I am more and more convinced that the purpose has more to do with the development of His character IN ME than in others. And the truth is the last time I checked God was still on His throne and there is not ANYTHING that can knock Him off. So I am choosing to reign in my feelings and let his rain pour over me.

What about you?

A new site February 14, 2008

Drum roll please…. for those of you who are faithful readers, we FINALLY have posted the new and improved www.journeytoalbania.com.  We were having some difficulty with posting, memory on our hard drive and rss feeds.  All those have been fixed but creating a new site with wordpress.com (which by the way we LOVE).  This will make it much easier for us to post new updates and ministry news!  YEAH!  Visit the new site and subscribe today!  

Undo what I’ve become February 13, 2008

“To label me a hypocrite would only scratch the surface of who I’ve been known to be.” ~ Undo by Rush of Fools

Do you ever get to the end of your day and really not like who you see in the mirror? The last couple days I have been mean spirited, rude, unkind, grumpy, grouchy, picky, impatient …all with the people I love the most. What is wrong with me?! Life can be so overwhelming. I do not have the most difficult of circumstances…yes life is hard, but I am not the only one and yet sometimes I find myself living in this vacuum of complete and total self focus. My friend Krystal was here for an hour today and I am not even sure if I asked her any questions! (Please forgive me, Krystal!) All I did do was vent, rant and generally complain. And now my spirit needs a good cleansing!

This is the passage my eyes fell upon today, when asking God to speak to me:

Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you have have no money come buy and eat! Come buy wine (Note to self: NOT whine) and milk without money and without cost. Listen, Listen to me and eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Issiah 55:1-2

God, I so need your forgiveness and grace. Please fill my cup when it is empty. Undo the things I can’t undo myself.

Undo by Rush of Fools

I’ve been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You’ll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You�re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

Gotcha! February 5, 2008

One year ago today we took Jadyn Annabelle into our arms, into our hearts and into our family. This is a well known day in the adoption world, affectionately named “Gotcha Day.” What a wonderful ride.

One year ago today, we awoke early in the morning in Beijing. We quickly packed our bags and went downstairs to catch the bus at 7:30 with the other 12 families from our group. We all anxiously rode the bus to the airport to catch our 10am flight to Nanchang in the Jiangxi province, clutching the picture the only picture we had of our daughter. 

We were lucky among the 43 families in our total group. Most families were landing and going straight to pick up their babies, luggage in tow! We were able to go to our hotel and unpack and take a quick breather before going to the China Center for Adoption Affairs office to pick up our daughters! We found a lovely room waiting for us at the hotel, complete with crib for our new arrival! We anxiously ticked off the TWO HOURS we had to wait before boarding the bus again to the building where we would FINALLY meet our daughter.

While waiting for the elevators to take us to the 26th floor, Robert poked me and said…. “Look at those babies!” 

Several workers had come in with babies all dressed in yellow coats and black pants. We wondered if these precious ones were our daugthers. Robert found one and poked me again… “I think that could be Jadyn!” I told him I did not think so. My mind was too closed to the idea that I could be this close to her and not able to run over and grab her! We watched as these babies all went with their caregivers onto different elevators. Sigh….
We rode up the elevator with 3 other couples. The tension and nervousness was thick. When the door opened, we could hear babies crying. We entered into a room of complete chaos! There were babies EVERYWHERE! We were all trying to film for each other and get our eyes on our own child. Where could she be? We were family 13 in our group… W’s are always last in line… and we watched in fascination as the 12 other families took hold of their babies, all of them wearing yellow jackets and black pants, many of the screaming! Finally our turn came. It was indeed the precious girl Robert had seen in the lobby of the building! There was Jadyn! I shifted my weight from foot to foot as they checked our passports against the paperwork and her ID tag. Finally, she was in my arms! She looked from Robert to me and back again, as if to say “Who are you people? You look a little strange to me!” But with out a sound she settled into our arms, reaching for her daddy soon after I held her for a moment. A daddy’s girl is born.

The chaos abounded throughout the room, but Jadyn stayed calm and quiet, even briefly showing us a hint of a smile and two bottom teeth poking through! At last…

We celebrated tonight by going out to our favorite Chinese restaurant here in Tirana (we actually have a few Chinese places!) and enjoyed the food, atmosphere and family. We recounted the day one year ago for Austin and Tyler who listened intently while Jadyn ran around tables and generally charmed everyone in the restuarant. They both remember the first time they saw her on Skype video, on Feb 6th. Austin prayed over our meal and thanked God for his beautiful sister and that she is a part of our family. Who could say anything better? AMEN!

Wedding Song February 1, 2008

Frequently, when I put the kids to bed, they want me to sing song. Lots of times we sing together. Tonight, Austin’s request was “Sing the wedding song, mommy.” A few years ago Robert sang the Stephen Curtis Chapman song that I sang at our wedding and it was affectionately renamed “The Wedding Song.” Know why I think they like it so much? It is a reminder of the promises Robert and I have made to each other and that gives them a great sense of security and peace. All’s right with mom and dad, all’s right with the world.  I know that my marriage relationship is the one that all the family hinges around.  I don’t thank God nearly enough for my wonderful, faithful, patient, funny, smart, kind, visionary, loving, spontaneous, enduring husband!

I will be here by Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake
up and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
‘Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and trying
We’ll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we’re older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here

Robert, I love you.